Confronting Habit's Mistress

How to observe our daily patterns and core beliefs, and then intentionally recalibrate that inner landscape to allow our external actions to match our intrinsic values.

Jul 24, 2024

Last week, we cracked open a new notebook and began a Year of Tiny Change.

We selected a word to describe our intention for the voyage and reminded ourselves that mass lifestyle reconstruction rarely works.

A quick reminder: A Year Of Tiny Change is a collaborative wellness project I’m running here on Substack. We’ll make one simple monthly shift to gain energy, clarity, and joy. By focusing on just one recommendation at a time, we create space to progressively build new habits from the learning stage to putting them on autopilot. Join for free.

Today, I’d like to nominate our first actionable shift:

To build a better breakfast.

Of all the things we could choose to update, breakfast seemed like a logical place to start.

How we fuel our bodies in the morning impacts our energy for the day, it sets an intention of self-care, and it’s not something you can push until later on (great for building momentum).

But wait! Before you start adding spinach to your smoothie, there’s something important to know:

The Work Is The “Why” Not The What

This year is not about grand actions or checkable progress points.

Instead, it’s about taking time to observe our daily patterns and core beliefs, and then intentionally recalibrating that inner landscape to allow our external actions to match our intrinsic values.

Because pattern change demands a certain level of confrontation.

And in our inquiry, we disrupt the hamster wheel of habit to allow for consciously choosing an alternate path.

So it’s not enough to mimic each month’s suggestion. It’s not really about adding berries to your oats or avocado to your toast (though that’s important).

Rather, the transformation comes from viscerally experiencing our reactions when asked to change, even if they feel as awkward and hostile as being confronted in an affair.

Here are some that I’m familiar with (please add any that I’m missing):

A bristling at the suggestion there is a better way.
A knee-jerk sense of opposition
An elaborate reasoning as to why “it won’t work for me.”
A sense of shame and panic that I’ve historically been doing something “wrong.”
An exhausted sigh. Because here we are again.
A dismissal — I already know this…But am I doing it?

These are the types of responses that personally come up when I’m trying to change something that has historically been hard OR I thought would be simpler than it’s turning out to be OR is a suggestion from my husband ;)

And the more exhausted we are, the more often we exist in a state of control, the more emotionally driven our goal is, the more substantive these arguments feel.

So with each Tiny Ask this year, we must first heed what’s happening inside. What is your IMMEDIATE response — visceral or mental — to this content?

For each thought that comes up, try this:

Write your thoughts down as a statement.
Curiously observe the statement — “Why was that my first response?”
Question the validity of what you’ve written — “Is this based on truth?”
Ask yourself who said this — Was it you, today? Or your old protective cloak of patterning?
Consider the possibilities if you let this thought go and take new action.

That’s step one.

(Eating well seems simple in comparison, yes?)

The Stealth Of Simplicity & My Own Reframe

Let me give you an example of overriding our core responses.

As I considered creating A Year Of Tiny Change, I noticed a real desire to offer too much. Too much information…Too much actionable content…Too much proof…

I had feared that if I made things so “simple” you would dismiss this work as unimportant, or think it was not worth actioning, or — yikes! — believed that I didn’t know what I was talking about.

So I began writing out great swaths of information to convince you of my expertise. Yes. My breakfast expertise.

This was a good moment to respond to my thoughts of not “being enough” and trusting in the power of simplicity to present something useful.

Because I know it works.

Here’s what a client shared after one of my group programs:

The beauty of this program is its simplicity. With Jennifer's guidance, I was able to incorporate these new lifestyle habits with ease and without stress. With minimal effort I learned how to feel confident in my healthy lifestyle choices and now prioritize self-love.
- Maureen

Finally, This Isn’t About Weight Loss

Real talk? This month, we’re discussing what and how we eat and for many women that can bring up a lot of stuff.

So let’s get this clear: A Year Of Tiny Change is not about weight loss.

This year is not about external goals at all.

We’re here to feel genuinely well.

To boost energy.
Improve sleep.
Boost confidence.
Reduce mental fog.
Change our relationships with ourselves.
And systematise healthy habits to release the wellness obsession and leave space for pursuing experiences of beauty and joy.

Your goal this month is to fuel your body with an enjoyable, satiable, sustainable breakfast. There are many ways to get there without restriction.

Nuts & Bolts: Build A Better Breakfast

This month we’re building a better breakfast. Here’s how it will work:

What is a “better breakfast?” This means one that stabilises blood sugar, is nutrient-dense and is something you can manage to prepare each day. Learn more here.
These shifts assume that you’re already eating breakfast. If not, start there.
I’ll offer a bit of scaffolding but feel free to go off-piste and make this your own.
The hardest part will be sticking to such a simple schedule. You’ll be tempted to do more, but I encourage you to gain more by doing less. This month, improve your breakfast. Other updates can wait.

Session One: Take Action

Step One: engage with your initial reactions to this week’s suggestion. Write down your hesitancies and open your mind to trying something new.

Step Two: assess your current breakfast — how do you feel after breakfast? How soon are you hungry again? What’s your focus like in the mornings? What’s one thing that you could change?

Read Me: Learn the four specific components to add to your breakfast plate.

It’s Your Turn:

Let’s make this collaborative!

Share your thoughts about this week’s mini-shift in the comments below. Did you notice hesitancy? Can you see a way to make an update? What’s one breakfast tip you can share with the group?