So, what is it like to be you?

Because we need to re-evaluate our personal narrative every now and again.

The builders are back despite my quiet hope that today’s rain forecast would keep them away (as it’s seemed to do every other day the sky was tinged with grey).

Lately, my “Thursday Workday” has fallen victim to a series of construction disruptions and I find myself getting edgy at the lack of quiet time alone.

As an introvert and creative, it’s essential that my thoughts have space to leisurely meander and merge into one another, making sense of the world’s input and my personal output.

It’s hard to do this with the cacophonous enthusiasm of my children by day and even tenuous when working in the same room as my husband at night.

(My thoughts are shy and need true isolation to step up to the plate.)

So when the trucks pulled up today my creative muse promptly jumped back into bed and pulled the covers over her head, possibly to drown out the signature move of tradies who blast radio hits from the early 2000s even when power saws turn the acoustics to haze.

There’s always the option to take myself to a cafe or the library to get work done but I’m a distractible writer who spends time in public wondering about the stories of every other person that walks through the door.

When really the story I need to figure out is my own.

This is me in self-reflection mode. Despite being a writer I struggle with personal journaling and find it’s easier to take big questions and mull over them during repetitive creative motions. Note the garden beds out back? Same deal. My hobbies are my portal for making sense of who I am and grounding me to my world.

I’m coming out of an intense period of mothering, moving, and rebuilding life on repeat.

Within the past six years my family and I have lived in Los Angeles, North Carolina, Sydney, and now SE Queensland.

And in each place we’ve inhabited I’ve noticed that a certain side of my personality takes the lead. It’s not a Harvey Dent level shift, but more of an energetic recalibration to suit my environment.

How you show up to live in LA tends to be different than the American South, and inner-city Sydney has a different beat to the outskirts of Brisbane.

Not to mention I’m originally a small town country girl.

Add to this the intense identity shifts that come with motherhood and I find myself in a period of re-discovery to figure out and accept who I am now.

And understanding how this new version of me sits in the world — consistently.

Are you here too?

What is it like to be you, right now?

Because the feedback I received from our series on Values makes me think I’m not the only way shifting seasons and cementing identities.

Introspection and allowing ourselves to pivot is a human rite of passage at different junctures of life, and perhaps even more so for a gender often told who they should be.

This lead me to review what I’ve been sharing here on Substack as a few posts I’ve written have left me dissatisfied. And what I realised is that I’ve returned to writing in limbo, offering strands of thought connected to who I am now but also holding onto the type of work I used to focus on: straightforward and actionable wellness advice.

I’ve had a fear that delving too deeply into creativity and self discovery would be at odds with my ability to generate an income from my work but it’s left me in a liminal space that I’m finding uncomfortable.

And I’m realising that who I was, who I am now, and who I will become all deserve their own containers for expression. As do yours.

This means a couple of things:

1. If you would like to health coach with me to reach tangible wellness goals, I still offer that service 1:1. Contact me at info@jenniferdenewellness.com for more information.

2. Here, I’ll shift more fully to writings on personal narrative and spark conversations around self-transformation.

3. I believe that creative self-expression, community building, simplicity and rituals are the way forward on this endeavour, like a tapestry of being that allows us to enrich our experiences and find more space, joy and clarity in life.

4. A Year Of Tiny Change will remain with one key focus each month that can run in the background.

The narrative we craft about ourselves today will change the way we experience our lives for the next 20 years.

For those of you who would like to explore your own personal narrative, here are some questions to reflect upon this week.

Questions For You:

1. What am I drawn to when I have time for “nothing”?

2. What do I daydream about?

3. How often do I think about who I am separate from my roles at home and in society?

4. How often do I let myself change my mind?

5. What is a belief that I once held that I no longer think is true?

6. Where am I when I feel happiest?

7. What am I doing when I feel most like me?

I’d love to hear your insights. Let me know below.

Yours,
Jenn xx